【】

LONDON -- Happy holidays one and all. Tis the season for spending time with your lovely but mildly irritating family and distant relatives you haven't seen all year.
They want to hear all your news. Seriously, ALL of your news. You know, your job, your wellbeing, your home, and -- naturally -- your relationship status. Cool.
Via GiphyUnfortunately, unless you're coupled up and able to call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend, it's pretty tricky to find an answer for those awkward and annoying questions.
You could titter awkwardly or straight-up avoid the question entirely, but here's a thought: how about telling them the unfiltered, unabashed truth?
Here are 12 brutally honest ways to answer questions about your relationship status.
SEE ALSO:Tinder on TV is your new favourite party gameHave you got a partner?
Oh god. The dreaded question. And, it's been asked so soon into the festivities. Do I tell them I've spent the past three months eating sharing bags of crisps in my pjs as I binge-watch Orange Is The New Black?
Option one:I don't know if I can call this guy my partner. But we do have sex once a week and he occasionally likes my Instagrams. Does that still count?
Option two: No one fancies me. So, that's that. Please don't ask me anything else.
Option three:I have several partners, actually. Sexual partners. That's what we're talking about, right?
Option four: No. And I haven't for the past five years. Really, I'm fine with the prospect of dying alone surrounded by 30 very loving cats.
Via GiphyWhen are you planning on settling down?
There is nothing more annoying than this question. Settling down is not something that can ever be planned. It either happens or it doesn't.
Option one:Honestly, it's a struggle to keep myself fed and bathed on a regular basis. Once I've nailed that, I'll consider entering more humans into the equation.
Via GiphyOption two:I just want to keep on having casual sex as long as I possibly can. So, no plans for the foreseeable future. K, cool.Option three: I'm gradually coming to the conclusion that I'm enough on my own. I can't really improve on this level of perfection.
Via GiphyOption four: I don't like to make plans. I'll leave it up to the universe to decide when or if I settle down.
What happened to the last one?
Great. As if the interrogation wasn't bad enough. They've started trudging up lovers of the past. Hey relatives, here's a tip: if we haven't mentioned them, then something bad probably happened!
Option one: Oh I don't know. He dumped me? Thanks for reminding me.
Via GiphyOption two:Um, she "borrowed" my iPod and then ghosted me. So that happened.
Option three: She cheated on me with my best friend and I found out on Twitter. I still cry myself to sleep sometimes. I'm OK though, really I am.
Via GiphyOption four:He never existed. I just made him up so you'd stop asking me all these annoying questions.
Featured Video For You
Sorry, you're addicted to Tinder
相关文章
Pokémon Go is so big that it has its own VR porn parody now
Behind every great entertainment property there's a cheekily named porn parody. Super Hornio Bros. G2025-04-03- 前言 :答:歌名 :《誰》演唱 :小柯作詞:小柯作曲:小柯歌詞:遇見你的我 ,碰到我的你在同樣的深夜裏 ,寫了同樣的日記望著你的我 ,望著我的你在同樣的時光裏,問著同樣的問題誰在等你,你在等著誰誰在等我,我在等著2025-04-03
- 金輪的意思是什麽啊?知道的請說下!金輪的解釋:佛教語。"輪"(梵語Cakra)﹐是印度古代戰爭用的一種武器 。印度古傳說中征服四方的轉輪王出生時﹐空中自然出現此輪寶﹐預示他將來的無敵2025-04-03
- 前言 :世界杯德國隊出局敗給哪個國家?北京時間6月27日22點比賽中 ,韓國2:0德國 ,德國出局,德國隊到底怎麽了 。德國與韓國的比賽 ,上半場德國控球率占優,但並未將優勢轉化為得分 ,整體節奏較為平緩。韓國隊2025-04-03
Is Samsung's Galaxy Note7 really the best phone?
On this week's 。 MashTalk 。, Lance, Pete and I talk about the new hot smartphone in town: Samsung's Ga2025-04-03- 龍淑芬什麽梗?出自《歡樂喜劇人第五季》第四期,盧鑫玉浩的相聲《俠客行不行》:說到小龍女的本名,竟然叫“龍淑芬” 。重慶有家特別有名的燒烤串串,就叫重慶串串-淑芬掌...淑芬是什麽梗問題一:何娟淑芬是什麽2025-04-03
最新评论